So it might take a month to get over someone, but hey, ya get over them right?? A rough month it was, but a sigh of relief stricks me. One wonderful lesson learned here: "Good things happen when you wait" I am a firm believer in that. So your first choice wasn't all that great, but you chose the first thing that came around b/c ya didn't want to wait. Knowing that it was a bomb to begin with.....

Life is good....

So this has been the most depressing week of my entire life. But I guess if this is as hard as it will get, then I'll take it.
I have never actually been "in love" before, so I guess thats what makes it so hard to handle. I broke it off. I did. But now that I broke it off, I don't want the other person to be with ANYONE. Is that selfish? It makes me sick to my stomach to know that they have already moved on to someone else. I don't really even want the person back, I just don't want them with anyone else. I broke it off, and now I kinda want it back the way things used to be. I am so use to hearing these kinda stories from all my friends, and I always thought it was so easy for them to just "move on". But now that I am in that exact same spot, moving on is going at a VERY SLOW PACE. I could get a re-bound, but that is all it would be, a re-bound. Its just too hard to move on from someone that you cared/loved so much. I suppose thats life, and I am just now experiencing it...

Why do I subject myself to this. Idk. Anyways, I need to revamp my life, start over, and make better friends. Idk, maybe its just me. I love the friends I have, but I just don't make time for them. I need to make time for the good friends I have and make some new ones. I need to not mow so many yards during the summer. I need to turn down offers that are "too hard to pass up" by people wanting me to do their entire landscaping for them. I mean come on people, I'm 19 years old. I'm a kid. I have demands just like every other 19 year old kid. I want to go out, get a little crazy, and hang out with friends. But no, I can't do that if I'm stuck in your yard for 40 hours a week, then work at the bank for 35, then hang out with friends for 1. Sorry, doesn't work out that way.

But anyways. I ranted to my roommate about my problems and he gave me some very good advice. Advice that I had heard before but had used on other people. "Phones work both ways". They really do. People will only call so many times with you not returning your calls. I need to be the one making all the calls, and I need to be the one that makes the plans. I need not rely on other people to make all the decisions. I just need to be a better friend period.

I love Livejournal cause you can just tell all. No one really cares though. Friends only come around so many times.


My absolute favorite song right now is "Promiscious" by Timberland and Nelly Furtado. So yeah, all ya'll can claim it as your own now. I'm obsessed with it. 10 times a day I listen to it. Then, after that, I hear it as I count out peoples money all day at work. And yes, I sing it to them haa.

I am still alive. Yes I am...

Update on life...
- Finally quit the bookstore. Put in my 2 weeks notice and said my goodbyes. I will really miss working there and the people that I worked with. You just know when its time. My time has come.
- Got a job at Hunting Federal. Teller. I am so excited about it. I have never been so excited for a job quite like this. The pay is lower of course, but it is literally 2 buildings over from mine.
- I moved apartments for many reasons. I was living in a one-bedroom apartment without a living room. That can get old. Every time I would have people over the only place for them to sit would be my bed. So I found me a roommate and we moved into a 2 bedroom, 1 bath, huge living room, formal dining room, and a huge kitchen apartment. And for the record, it is $12.50 CHEAPER for me to live in this one than the old one of mine.

Things that I miss... a lot.
I miss hanging out with old friends. Mom says that its just the facts of life and we all move on, but I really liked a lot of the friendships that I once had. Its sad. I feel weird calling certain people now b/c I'm afraid we won't have anything to talk about. I am getting really sick and tired of going out to the clubs and going dancing. I feel like its just not fun anymore. Sure it was a blast when I lived at home and sneaking out and came back really late. But when you can see the clubs outside your bedroom window it looses its luster.

I need to start going back to church and doing all of that kinda thing. Mom gets upset when I skip out on an occasion Sunday. So Laura and I were going to take Laura's sister to go tp'ing for the first time. I was so excited, but she feel asleep... Maybe next time.

Call me crazy...

I really do think that the poverty world that we live in is sad. Us Americans have absolutely no excuse as to the way we live. Its insane. We have more people fully supported by our government than any other country. That is insane my friends....
Sure sure, seeing little kids across the seas really do need our help. They do! Their government doesn't allow them to get out of the situation that they are in. Sadly, ours does but people CHOOSE to live in it. Think I'm crazy? Go to Wal-Mart the first or second of every month and you will see. I see fat women wearing pajamas with their hair matted to their scalp. I see kids running around with chocolate all down their face. I see the mother stalking up on things SHE WANTS NOT NEEDS. One thing you won't see is mothers with their childs father. The fathers are long gone. Women get 3x the amount back on taxes as you and I do simply because she has kids. I see VCR's in the frozen food section, I find milk stuffed in the bread sections, and I see mothers cussing like sailors b/c they think cigarettes are just way too expensive. People are truly lazy. It makes me so mad to even think of it. Why should you be mad??? B/c you and I are the ones paying for that fat lady in pajama pants to smoke her cigarettes, and we are paying her to live the way she lives so she doesn't have to DO ANYTHING. They can simply sit back, work a minimum wage job, and wait on those checks to start coming. This goes beyond Wal-Mart as well. Go to St. Mary's sometime and sit in any waiting room. Absolute chaos. The majority (93%) are over-weight poor people that go to the hospital if they sneeze. Why you ask? Because they don't have to pay for it. Those who actually make something of themselves and try and be something are held back because they are paying for Sally Jo Milly's foot problem.

Anyways, that makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. It obviously has to do something with the way our brains function and how some strive to the hardest to be anything and others simply do not care. Which one do you think she get rewarded?

Another thing that bothered me today, is the older generation... I went to the hospital today and sat with my grandmother whom just recovered from colon cancer. She has been watching a lot of t.v. lately and this Sunday morning she just happen to watch a very conservative Christian preaching.
My grandmother "Tim, you better stop watching that MTV and stuff, its not entertainment, its a learning program for kids to act bad:
Me: Well Mimi, have you ever watched MTV in your life??"
Mimi: NOPE, there is NOTHING on there that I would be interested in"
Me thinking in my head: *Then how in the world can you form an opinion on it if you haven't even watched it?*
Thats the problem. This very conservative Christian on television has probably never watched MTV in his life. If he had, he would know that it isn't all that bad! Granted, they do have some raunchy things on there sometimes, but usually after midnight. And whose to say there is anything wrong with our generation? What about your generation Mr? I wasn't born then but pot smoking like cigarettes isn't what I call a healthy generation?
But thanks anyways mr. preacher, I'll stick to watching my MTV if you stick to smoking your pot.


There is a reason for my ranting, I just got done cleaning my apartment. Thats all I do is think about the most random stuff while cleaning... Sorry if I offended anyone. I'm not actually. Hah!

So this is my "Happy" entry.

Life is good... Remember that

Life is good I suppose, sometimes. I guess God made humans human for a reason. People are people and they will have faults and they will do stuff that you don't like. Friends are friends, and they aren't perfect either. A true friend is one that you have had many arguments with and became even better friends out of it. What a friend is not is one that you cannot trust. Frienship is based on trust, and if you don't have that then you don't have a friendship. Some times it takes much longer to realize that the trust was never there to begin with. Which sucks. There will be people in your life that make you instantly happy the first time you see them, then others as soon as someone mentions their name you cringe. What sucks the most about life is that it isn't fair. I know its sounds child-like, but its true. The way people treat you and the way that you treat people isn't fair.
Its not fair to come to realize that all the values that you value in a friend aren't really there. Your friendship has been hallow for a long time. You tell them something, and you find out you've actually told 4 others as well. It sucks, I know. I didn't mean for my first livejournal update to be such a downer since I haven't written in like 2 years, but heck, who cares.

I guess one of my favorite quotes comes in right about now "One thing I've learned about life is; It goes on."

In the business world it is the golden rule to "trust no one" it just sucks that it has to play in your personal life as well...


But anyways, enough of that. I will make sure to write a really really happy one right after this one! haha

Yes. I am still alive. Yes. I am still alive.

So the nighty nights on the Open House party have got to be the greatest thing in the world. I swear, every time it comes on, someone from this area gets on there and sounds horrible. Anyways...

So yeah, Gwen Stefani is the greatest thing that could happen to human kind.

I invited myself to go to Palm Springs California to see Roys mom. The guilt trip works like a charm. Its great. I will hopefully be going the 7th - 13th of February. I can't wait!!

New years was absolutely amazing. No I didn't do anything crazy, or make out with anyone. Sorry. But I did stay up until 4, and I did get crazy drunk phone calls.

If I hear Weezer's "Beverely Hills" one more time, I am going to commit suicide and then take the vocal cords out of all the band members. Like seriously, its not that hard to find DIFFERENT music to play besides Mariah Carey and Kelly Clarkson. And no, Mr. DJ, you will NOT turn the music up.

I did however, wake up and go outside to my car in Huntington to find chewing gum, cup, and paper towels on my car. Made me laugh. But what was even more funny was a man in a wheelchair rolled by and just started laughing as I was taking it off my car. I said "Must have been a wild night?" and he just rolled on. Keep in mind, my hair is in a mohawk, haven't brushed my teeth yet, barely wearing shoes. I looked raw. It was hilarious.


So its late, I have a headache. Goodnight

So I'm pretty sure livejournal was about to cancel my account. I said no way bitches, Timmay is back...

Laura and I went shopping today. I bought $150 worth of clothes, and got a crap load. After Christmas sales have got to be the best.
Things I got from Santa, that you should be jealous at:
Microwave, toaster/oven, plates, knifes, spoons, bowls, skillet, bathroom towels, cups, toothbrush, Sam's economy sized box of Pop-Tarts, 1 pair of jeans, 1 work shirt, etc. So yeah, if you can beat that list as being the strangest, then be my guest.

Gwen Stefani is my mother. I am just a baby from another mother. We were meant to be family. Stefani = Tim's new obsession. I advise all to get her new cd.

I will be moving on mid January. You playa's need to stop by so I don't become a hermit and never come out. I am so excited, I am SO ready to move on, and out of this house. I am sick and tired of living under rules. But yeah, if you think I was pimp, you should wait to see my apartment. Its sick.

Thats all I have. Peace out.